What if you don’t really so much appreciate a person to
whom you feel you have to send a card, invite to or meet
at a party, or give a gift? Hmm... It can present a
problem - a little tainting of the holiday time mood, perhaps.
Fellowship is all well and good, but too much strain
about it may bring the level of enjoyment down too far.
Well, first, I’d encourage anyone in such a position to
assess the "have to". Sometimes the thing isn’t so
"have to" as it seems (do you really have to
send cards to everyone you know? - even when they don’t send
them themselves?)...
Or there’s a work-around. For instance, there could be two
parties - one long and intimate, and one shorter and drawing
in more, and more casually cared-about, people. Or you might
enjoy that person alone but not in a group situation - so
arrange to see her alone (which is special) instead of inviting
her to your party (your house has limited room anyway).
But if the person is still in that critical "absolutely
must, even though" category after assessment, my suggestion
is to simply focus on what you do appreciate about him -
and express appreciation honestly for that... even if it’s
only his basic humanity! As an example, the deemed-necessary
gift could be a small donation on the person’s behalf to a
charity you both value. Or a token - a tiny crystal? - that
represents your recognition of her keeping her house sparkling
clean (even though it might make you feel guilty when you see
it! - or it isn’t something you value highly for yourself).
The aptness of an honest gift, we might call it, has
much more value than does a thoughtless one, to both the giver
and the receiver. ...It just feels right - and that feels
good. (And is it not excellent psychology to reinforce the good
things in someone’s nature?)
If you aren’t sure how to assess what would fit into that
classification for someone else, I hope to make some suggestions
in the following chapters that will make this easier for you.
...And maybe it would help to think about what would be apt
for you. (In fact, don’t people occasionally ask you
what you’d really like as a gift? It’s good to be
able to really tell them!)
For now, on to what is often the first seasonal activity to
appear at end-of-the-year holiday time - greetings...
